This post is not sponsored by Talkspace

Or BetterHelp or Cerebral or Ahead or Done or British Petroleum jkjk this post is sponsored by British Petroleum.

I’m a little grumps sometimes. And today is one of those sometimes. So apologies in advance—but this is gonna be a real grumpy post. 😬 My grumpiest, perhaps.

I think our obsession with destigmatizing mental illness has backfired. Society’s current attitude towards mental health and mental illness irritates me. Like I said, I’m a grumpy guy.

I can’t help but feel like the constant “lived experience” talk, the everything is trauma, everything is a trigger mental health narrative is… bad. Or at the very least, misguided.

To be fair, I’m glad we’re exiting the mental illness is fake news line of thinking that has plagued prior generations—but I think the pendulum may have swung just a smidge too far in the other direction.

In particular, I have two main gripes about our current, collective approach to #MentalHealth:

Gripe number one: The Talkspace/BetterHelp/et al. mental health narrative is too vanilla

I think we’ve only normalized a very specific type of mental health struggle—the kind that works well on Instagram feeds and TikTok videos. We’ve pushed forth an incredibly narrow, Insta-worthy brand of mental health and wellness that is—to be quite blunt—self-serving and fucked up and downright cruel to people suffering with legitimate mental health issues.

We’re collectively patting ourselves on the back for taking away the taboo of mental illness while inadvertently pushing forth a narrative that mental illness can be solved with a mixture of guided meditations, houseplants, overmedication, exposed brick walls, and inexperienced therapists from online therapy startups.

On one hand, it's great that we're talking openly about mental health. 5 or 10 years ago, I never would have opened up about my OCD struggles to my friends or to the people close to me.

But now I feel like the stigma surrounding mental illness has been replaced with mental health subscriptions and hashtags about self-care and Wellness Wednesdays.

It’s hard to feel positive about the direction of behavioral and mental health initiatives when it seems like it’s turning into something for venture capitalists to monetize and celebrities to exploit.

What do I mean by that? I’m glad you asked. I’d like to talk briefly about the rise of celebrity “mental health advocates” like Kevin Love and Demi Lovato and Michael Phelps.

I think these people being open about their struggles with depression and other mental health issues is awesome and I think it should be celebrated. Struggling with your mental health is normal and the more people speaking up and talking about their experience is a step in the right direction.

However, I take offense to what happens next. There appears to be a pretty standardized set of steps for celebrities at this point:

1. Announce your mental health struggle

2. Partner with a mental health startup, like Talkspace or BetterHelp

3. Rake in the social clout and help investors see that healthy ROI 💰🤑

It’s hard for me to celebrate these people when Kevin Love is trying to sell me a vibrating mental health headset, Demi Lovato is peddling Talkspace subscriptions and Michael Phelps is lying down in empty pools.

It just feels… dishonest.

Then again, I don’t want to be an irritable dickhead who just criticizes people—Kevin Love seems like a decent enough guy. I was a big fan of Minnesota Timberwolves Kevin Love (then a very ardent critic of Cleveland Cavaliers Kevin Love) and I think Demi Lovato seems nice (albeit way cooler than I’ll ever be). The only person I genuinely hate is Michael Phelps¹ (maybe get back on land like the rest of us you try-hard, dolphin-ass bitchhh).

But it is hard for me to blame them. If Talkspace or BetterHelp reached out to me tomorrow to sponsor Psychology Onions—my newsletter where I compare my OCD to Lou Bega’s Mambo No. 5 or where I point out that you can’t just shit out your emotions—would I seriously turn them down?

I think the reality is that I’d probably take their money. I’m not Jesus or Mother Teresa or Keanu Reeves, and I’m okay with that.

And with that said, here’s a quick word from my sponsor:

It just feels like a mental illness is no longer a thing to work through and overcome, but a thing to profit off of—which brings me to:

Gripe number two: Mental health has turned into a definition

We’ve turned mental illness into a personality trait, a way to define and draw attention to ourselves. Our mental illnesses have become objects to brandish and a way to garner clout on social media.

Mental illness has flipped from being stigmatized to being very in vogue—it is no longer something to be ashamed of, but rather a luxury good for wealthy, privileged people to flaunt and show off.

Nowadays, everyone has ADHD and OCD and #tourettes—everything is triggering, everything is trauma, everything’s a drum. It’s about collecting mental illnesses like they are Girl Scout patches or Boy Scout merit badges or Pokémon cards.

Mental health has turned into a competition, a my depression is worse than your depression shouting match akin to that Dueling Carl’s YouTube video from a decade ago.

This societal pursuit of victimhood is forcing those with legitimate mental illnesses back into suffering alone and struggling in silence. In pushing mental health to the forefront, we’ve unwittingly neglected the very people this movement was supposed to help.

We’re not removing the stigma of mental illness—we’re fetishizing it.

Agree? Disagree? Lemme know: I’m kinda curious if I’m on my own with this one. You can reply to this email or comment on this post or do neither of those things.

And thanks for reading. 🌝 Hopefully I didn’t come across like too much of a dickhead in this piece—I know everyone’s just trying their best in life² and I respect that.

Also—I’m going to a once-per-month posting schedule for the next few months (in lieu of my every-other-week schedule).

Some resources and links that have helped me

• A few winning OCD strategies

• OCD and the 6-Moment Game

• How to stop panic attacks

• Real event OCD and 10 steps to getting better

• Learning to identify OCD’s lies

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Missed my last Psychology Onions post? Read it here.

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1. I don’t actually hate Michael Phelps, just to be super-duper clear.

2. Except Michael Phelps and his stupid albatross arms.